University

University, eh. Well, I had planned on applying last year (for 2012 entry). I know, shocker! Yes, I had always wanted to take a Gap Year. The big change to this came when I went to college, specifically, Sixth Form College. Although I don’t think they meant to do it, the focus there was always on university. I was academic, I got good grades, so naturally, I would be going to uni too. I just got swept along with the crowd, I wrote a personal statement, I went to Open Days. I remember the day I told my mum that I wasn’t taking a Gap Year any more, I was going straight to university instead.. It felt like I was coming out! Y’know, “Mum, I know I always said I was taking a Gap Year, but the thing is…” etc.

So, what changed from that to bring me to the wonderful adventure I am now on? Well, the short answer is that I got a D in my History AS. Nobody, literally nobody, could believe this – if it had been in French, maybe I wouldn’t have been so surprised, but the fact that it was History… It had always been what I was best at – seriously, I went the whole year getting straight A’s on all the essays I did, and then a D?! I could re-sit, I could fix it, but any uni’s I applied to would see my D and laugh at my application to study History. I was heartbroken – I cried for a whole day when I realised that I couldn’t go to university straight away.

BUT – (and here’s where the long story comes in) I am now so grateful for that D! Honestly, I can’t thank God enough for it. If I had got an A, as expected, right now I would be at university, maybe enjoying it, but probably regretting completely not taking my year out, and hating myself for just being swept along with the crowd. Instead, as I write this, I am in Western Australia! It took a D to steer me off the path I thought I wanted, and back onto the path that was really for me. Christians always tell you that God uses even the bad for His perfect plan, and it’s one of those things you smile and nod along with. I can tell you that it’s true, entirely true. The things that to you just look like horrible storms, or doors slamming in your face… one day you will look back and see the bigger purpose.

I re-sat, and jumped from just over 50% to 100% in one exam, leaving me with my A. So, just before Christmas, I applied to university! I still wasn’t sure if it was what I wanted, or where I was supposed to be, but I applied to keep the doors open. I got accepted at Liverpool, Nottingham, Cardiff and Sheffield. These offers are unconditional, something I wouldn’t have had if I had applied whilst still at college (yet another bonus!) meaning that there is no pressure on me to achieve any grades or do anything – I get to just sit back and decide where I want to go! It’s looking like Sheffield at the moment, I just feel drawn there, so prayers would be much appreciated as to making the right decision. All in all, God pulled me through this situation without me even realising! 

Seeing uni friends at Christmas

Obviously I was incredibly excited to see all my friends again after not having been all together since September! I think none of us were entirely sure how it would work – we all hoped we’d just slip back into the same friendship we’d had before, but there was no way of knowing for sure. After all, people had moved away from home for the first time, been living independently, and had made new friends. For Joe and me things had changed too, we’d got used to being just the two of us a lot of the time, and both had jobs which kept us busy.

However, it was crazy how easy everything felt when we were all back together. We were sharing our own news, but nobody was trying to ‘one-up’ anyone else or prove they’d made the most new friends. I should have known really – my best friends are nothing like that, and a few months apart couldn’t change how we were together.

The big change I did find hard was things with Em, my best friend. Things had been difficult for us both whilst she was away at uni, and although I’d hoped we’d be back to normal over Christmas, things didn’t improve. We’ve spoken since, and it’s not as though we’ve stopped our friendship, but things are definitely different. Who can say if it’s university that was the change - being apart so long, both of us making new friends, growing apart maybe – or if things would have changed anyway, but it has been difficult.

Don’t let anyone tell you that everyone will come back from uni different, and that you won’t be friends in the same way, but also don’t convince yourself that nothing will change – people do change, and that’s how life works. Someone once said to consider your life in ten years’ time. Do you want it to be exactly as it is now? Chances are, probably not. Change is inevitable; try not to be afraid of it.